Insomnia, Again!

Hi Everyone,
If you're still reading this, thanks for hanging in there with me. I had set a goal of writing once a week, and have failed miserably! It's been about 3 weeks since the last time. It's 5:21am and I have been awake since 3:22am. I am prone to bouts of insomnia, which I despised most of my life. Now, however, I look at it as a chance to spend some time precious time alone. Without children or the dog needing something. There is often a silver lining if you really look for it, if you're that type. I'm usually the one to look for the dark cloud or the oncoming train when I see a light at the end of the tunnel.

So, what's been going, you might ask? Well, let's see.......I was sick for a few weeks.....to the point where I was actually going to break down and call my doctor. Until....light bulb. I went off my antidepressant medication a few weeks ago (I've been on it for a 1 1/2 years due to postpartum depression after my daughter was born) and after some research I found out that's what made me sick! I was in withdrawal - not fun. Nausea, dizziness, fatigue, loss of appetite (that has NEVER in my life ever happened to me), irritability (how can you tell, one might ask?) the whole nine yards. My marathon training got seriously derailed, household chores as well, as evidenced by about 8 laundry baskets of clothes that need to be folded and put away. Fortunately I think I'm on the upside of this withdrawal thing. Yesterday was the first day I've felt totally normal.

So what's it like to not have an appetite, you might wonder? For me, it's about the strangest, most alien state of being I have ever experienced (and trust me, I've experienced lots of altered states in my youth). I simply didn't have any interest in food. I could never find anything that whet my appetite, and would eat just enough of something bland to curb hunger. True hunger is, sadly, another condition with which I am not all that familiar. I also had no interest in cooking, normally one of my passions. I've realized that in order to want to cook, you have to want to eat. My interest in food fuels my interest in cooking. Seems intuitive, right? Never really thought about it until now. Oh, and incidentally, I only lost about 2 pounds during that period of time. Oh well.....

That's about it for now. It's 5:33am and I think I'm going to try to sleep for a little while before the kids get up. Have a splendid day. I'll be back soon. Thanks again for checking in.